OP,
I'm so sorry for your situation. I went through a similar thing with both parents, it is a cruel thing. I'm so sorry.
Others can offer better investment advice than me. I would like to just offer a few comments....
An elder law attorney is a must in my opinion. In the Northeast en Elder Law Attorney can cost $5 - 8K to get all the ducks in a row. For my parents, he established updated POA's, Health Proxies, and Will's, and made sure all documents referenced one another. These fees also included creation of a supplemental trust and a residential trust for mom and dad's primary home. This fee also included a "spend down plan" for mom and dad, which included things such as prepaid funeral expenses, minimum required retained income for surviving spouse, and other legal protections for surviving spouse which we would not have been aware of.You will want to read up on all these things before sitting down with the elder law attorney. Ours talked fast but we came prepared, had our questions written out in advanced, and types notes all throughout the meetings so we were able to retain the knowledge we paid for. Throughout the remainder of mom and dad's life we felt generally knowledgable and prepared due to the work of our elder law attorney.
If there was one thing we could have done better....we would have made the accountant and elder law attorney sit down together, way back in the beginning, to explain how some of the finances should be drawn down, including tax consequences. We had to go back and forth a few times between the two of them as the advice did not always match.
For assisted living and long term care. In addition to paying the crazy costs, we hired a private company who sent someone to the facilities at random times during the week to audit and check up on things. They always went on days we were not there so that we could maximize time, and they were on top of the facilities to stay clean and to not abuse our family - which, unfortunately, is very common in these facilities. If you can someone afford to get some additional help, it will bring comfort to you personally, will take some of the guilt of care away, and will be worth it.
If I were you I would start working on the sale of the rental properties but not without talking to elder law and attorney first. That sounds like a tremendous mental burden...I'd rather have those equities in some sort of low risk vanguard fund to keep my mind in tact.
If you have any questions or want to learn more about our experience PM me.
I'm so sorry for your situation. I went through a similar thing with both parents, it is a cruel thing. I'm so sorry.
Others can offer better investment advice than me. I would like to just offer a few comments....
An elder law attorney is a must in my opinion. In the Northeast en Elder Law Attorney can cost $5 - 8K to get all the ducks in a row. For my parents, he established updated POA's, Health Proxies, and Will's, and made sure all documents referenced one another. These fees also included creation of a supplemental trust and a residential trust for mom and dad's primary home. This fee also included a "spend down plan" for mom and dad, which included things such as prepaid funeral expenses, minimum required retained income for surviving spouse, and other legal protections for surviving spouse which we would not have been aware of.You will want to read up on all these things before sitting down with the elder law attorney. Ours talked fast but we came prepared, had our questions written out in advanced, and types notes all throughout the meetings so we were able to retain the knowledge we paid for. Throughout the remainder of mom and dad's life we felt generally knowledgable and prepared due to the work of our elder law attorney.
If there was one thing we could have done better....we would have made the accountant and elder law attorney sit down together, way back in the beginning, to explain how some of the finances should be drawn down, including tax consequences. We had to go back and forth a few times between the two of them as the advice did not always match.
For assisted living and long term care. In addition to paying the crazy costs, we hired a private company who sent someone to the facilities at random times during the week to audit and check up on things. They always went on days we were not there so that we could maximize time, and they were on top of the facilities to stay clean and to not abuse our family - which, unfortunately, is very common in these facilities. If you can someone afford to get some additional help, it will bring comfort to you personally, will take some of the guilt of care away, and will be worth it.
If I were you I would start working on the sale of the rental properties but not without talking to elder law and attorney first. That sounds like a tremendous mental burden...I'd rather have those equities in some sort of low risk vanguard fund to keep my mind in tact.
If you have any questions or want to learn more about our experience PM me.
Statistics: Posted by PlayingLife — Thu Jan 30, 2025 7:38 pm